Expat Learnings

Things I’ve learned as an American expat in the UKoGBaNI #3


Friends will be lost.

I lost touch with a few of my closest friends when I moved to England. I was not expecting this to happen. I am a person with a small but very close group of friends and when a friend is lost, it is a big loss. I have privately shed many tears because of this.

I can’t pinpoint exactly why this happened and I can’t spend a single more minute running scenarios and possible reasons through my mind because it is exhausting, frustrating and saddening. Much more than I can explain in written words.

I like to think that the reason why I have lost touch with some is because of this blog. This blog is a weird thing in my life. It’s given me a platform to keep my friends and family abreast of our lives abroad but at the same time, I believe by reading this blog, some people feel as though they are keeping in touch with me when really, they aren’t keeping in touch with me at all, they are simply keeping current with what is going on in my life. Without having personal conversations with me, then there is no keeping in touch. It’s one-sided.

Writing a blog is a lot like presenting on a conference call where all the other participants are on mute. You speak and speak and speak and never have any cues as to if what you are saying is making sense or if the participants are lost or if anyone is listening at all. Blog writing is the same – I write and write and write and, unless someone comments on a post, I have no idea if what I am writing makes sense, is interesting or has offended someone. In regard to the latter, I’ve wondered if I’ve written something to offend someone and perhaps that’s the reason why I lost touch with that person. Or maybe losing touch with people is just one of the things that happens when someone moves abroad. Regardless, realizing that not all of my friends had the same desire as me to keep in touch was hurtful. Actually, is hurtful. Present tense. It hurts.

Alternatively, I’ve unexpectedly become more close to some of my friends since moving abroad.

For the next learning in my Expat Learnings mini series, go here. Alternatively, go here to read this mini-series from the beginning.

2 comments on “Things I’ve learned as an American expat in the UKoGBaNI #3

  1. I love your blog!!!

  2. Ditto! I’d reply more…But not everyone has an NDR.

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